6 Things I Hate About Eharmony
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…
1. Billing themselves as the premiere destination to find and marry your long lost soulmate, Eharmony is in the business of selling you a dream, and failing miserably at delivering on those expectations.
But hey, don’t take my word for it…just look at the statistics: Over 6.5 million paid subscribers. Estimated number of marriages so far? 10,000. Now I’m no math wiz, but according to Eharmony’s own data, 1 in 650, or 0.15% of subscribers actually receive the benefits that this site is selling.
I used to think music was the poorest performing industry with just 1 out of 10 signed artists turning a profit for a record label, but Eharmony’s track record is worse!
Wow. With a product performing as poorly as this, Eharmony should bring in one of those Phd experts for credibility. You know, one of those old guys who’s published like 9 books on the same subject. Oh, silly me…Eharmony already has one!
2. Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the sites founder, and “relationship expert guy” you see in all the commercials), clearly smokes crack , as evidenced by this quote:
“the reason we have encouraged people to wait a little while to exchange pictures, is so they won’t make such a strong early judgment about a person based exclusively on external factors.”
Wow, that’s brilliant Dr. Warren! I mean, if you want a dating service filled with unattractive, insecure people, your model is PERFECT!
Of the rebellious vixens who go against Dr. Warrens wishes and actually DO upload pictures, the site is discouraging enough that over half the women on it never display them. So what if attraction is based on looks? You dare question the good Dr.’s judgement?
This “feature” CRIPPLES any ability to know who you might even be interested in…ah, but fret not, Eharmony has a built in matchmaking system!
3. The matching system SUCKS.
a. You have no control over who you meet. Eharmony uses their own proprietary compatibility tests for that. If you think you prefer blondes, or older men, sorry kiddo. Apparently Eharmony knows better than you do about what you’re looking for.
b. The automated introduction process is completely impersonal. It consists of multiple question and answer sessions that tell you nothing about a person (“your idea of a perfect vacation is…”), over and over again.
c. By the time you’re done with this grueling interview style questioning (which can take days, weeks, or even months), the eharmony system finally allows you to “Email” each other…could anything be less sexy and spontaneous? You can meet someone on the street, get married, have a baby, and get divorced in the same amount of time it takes you to meet 1 person on Eharmony.
4. The profile format discourages any uniqueness or creativity. The stock questions are obvious. Aside from the pictures (which usually aren’t visible), every profile looks the same!
5. Because Eharmony markets itself by playing on customers marriage fantasies, it attracts a shitty subscriber base. There are more lonely, needy, depressing people on eharmony than any other paid dating site.
6. It’s expensive. How expensive is it? It’s more expensive than the next most expensive mainstream dating service out there. The fact that it’s also one of the worst makes for a bitter pill to swallow.
As if finding a date wasn’t challenging enough for most people, Eharmony has the balls to sell you a soulmate. As a result, the experience is anything but fun and casual. From the questioning, to the safety policies, the whole experience is deadly serious. I’ve never had less fun on an online dating site.
Don’t be fooled by the glowing reviews. Eharmony has a massive affiliate program, and with thousands of websites sending traffic their way, it’s all about the $$$$.
Bottom line? Far beyond a mere sorry excuse of a dating service…Eharmony is a waste of life.
February 15th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Couldn’t agree more with many of the points you raise. I have recently skewered eH on my own blog. Perhaps you’ll see you are not a lone voice in the wilderness!
=)
http://doubtingmoab.blogspot.com/2008/02/eharmony-good-bad.html
February 25th, 2008 at 7:25 am
I WOULD agree with most of your comments, however- having been lonley for the 3 years I put off signing up and now having the oppisite problem- 3 amazing beautys wanting to bear my offspring, I CANT agree.
May 5th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Could not agree more. I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate eHarmony. Everyone I have met has turned out to be a huge liar. Hate, hate, hate, hate. Where’s the compatibility? I can’t see any. Plus most of the men live thousands of miles away from me, even though I live by a major city smack in the middle of the USA.
It’s probably great for men to meet women since all they want is warm flesh, but if you’re serious, forget it!
August 15th, 2008 at 3:06 am
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November 7th, 2008 at 12:16 am
If you are not happy with giving up on your ex and are looking for advice you have got to check out this book called the magic of making up. It has everything you need on how to get back with your ex.