Online Dating Methods

Once you get a girls phone number online, you have officially gone from “random internet dude”, to potential lover. The hardest part of the process is finally over…congratulations!

So when is the best time to call a girl you met online?

If you got her phone number over instant messenger, the best time to call is right then and there. This is because she’s still emotionally engaged in the interaction with you. By calling her immediately, she will associate the good vibes of the IM conversation to your voice. Also, the next time you call, you won’t need to remind her who you are.

If she emailed you her number, I recommend calling between 5:30pm and 6:30pm the next day. Don’t make first contact on weekends, as most people are hanging out with friends and family. If she doesn’t answer, leave a short & sweet voice message. If she doesn’t call back immediately, follow up again in 3-5 days.

The most important part of phone seduction is a funny intro. Don’t call her for the first time until you’re in a GREAT mood. Women are very adaptable, and your opening statements are going to set the tone for the rest of the conversation; so get on the good foot!

My personal favorite is, “Is this (adjective) girl?…”This is Bladelaw, your new secret lover from (dating site)”…”I’m calling to rescue you from those internet weirdos”

Creative, cocky & funny material like this will get her giggling. If she’s not laughing for whatever reason (perhaps at work, has company over, or has a slow sense of humor), don’t sweat it. Just keep saying cocky & funny stuff, and eventually she’ll crack.

Initially, you just want to establish that you are the prize, and the 2 of you are gonna have fun. Once the flirty tone is set, run with it! Building attraction on the phone is easy when you do it from the start. Once she’s interested, and attracted to your personality, she’ll naturally steer the conversation into, “interview mode”.

Don’t hold back from talking all about yourself, but don’t be too serious yet. Keep it as light and flirty as possible. What you do for a living matters less than how you make her feel about it. To make someone feel something, you must express feelings yourself. Let’s say you’re a janitor;

“Being a janitor at my school is like Temptation Island. I’m there to do my job, and do it well, but it’s tough when these bored teachers get carried away with their fantasies. I understand they work with kids all day, but come on…they just stare at me like I’m some piece of meat!”

Get to know each other a little bit, but don’t be too specific with stuff…leave a little mystery for gods sake. If she’s prying for tons of intel about your life, dole it out slowly. You need to keep things interesting for when you get together.

If she’s the quiet type, just talk about yourself, your life, and how you FEEL about the people and events around you.

If she goes off on a long tangent about something dumb or boring, she’s probably just nervous, and feels the need to fill up any dead air. Interrupt with, “Hey, I’m gonna change the subject for a second”, and talk about whatever it is that you found more interesting, or want to know about.

After 10-25 minutes of laughing and getting to know each other, the energy level will eventually settle down, and you’ll both feel a subtle, awkward kind of sensation…this vibe is natures way of saying “time for the next step”. Once you’ve reached this point, invite her out.

Time permitting, I always invite them to come hang out right then and there. Again, this is because you’re both already in a good state, and you can anchor that fun phone conversation to an in-person interaction. It also shows her that you’re interested, without verbalizing it, which would be a misstep at this stage. After all, you are still considering her, she hasn’t won you over just yet.

Ask her, “Are you the adventurous type?” Then, “How spontaneous are you?” It doesn’t matter the answers, they are just to set up your invitation. “Very cool! Well in that case, you are officially invited to (activity) with me at (date, place + time)”. Make sure you know the details of your invitation before you make it.

The activity can be anything from hang out on the beach, go for a stroll through a cool part of town, or just grab a drink somewhere. It doesn’t matter. You are presenting her with a once in a lifetime opportunity to hang out with a cool guy such as yourself. In asking her out this way, you demonstrate your ability to make decisions, and lead her confidently.

Notice, you do not “ask” her for a “date”. You “invite” her to “hang out”.

Asking a girl out is old fashioned courtship. In doing so, you place her in the drivers seat, giving away your position of choice. Keep the crown of power for yourself, and “extend an invitation” for her to come join you. It is the most classy, non-needy way to get a date.

As for the word “date”, aside from its romantic connotations, carries more pressure and expecations than it is worth. Don’t use it. “Hanging out” on the other hand is a casual, friendly activity, and pressure free. You just want to get her in-person…from there you’re free to romance her any way you like.

If you’ve done everything right thus far, she’ll be so excited that she’ll accept on the spot, and rush off to change her clothes. If timing is an issue, she’ll make a counter offer…usually for the next day.

Ask her what she’s planning on wearing, and she’ll request a cue from you. It doesn’t matter “what” you tell her to wear; “Wear something cute”, or “Wear something casual”. As long as you’re telling her, she’ll love you for it.

The next step is meeting up in-person! There are plenty of other resources for that part of the game…as for me, my guide to getting you a date online has come to an end. You’re on your own from here!

Be your best, and may the force be with you

Getting a girls phone number online isn’t rocket science.

A simple, “what’s your number?” will do. If you’re dealing with a particularly feisty one, “give me your number” is better. It’s your job to understand what kind of personality the chick you’re dealing with has. You need to praise her like you should when she’s acting right, and “check” her good when she isn’t. Otherwise, you riggity “wreck” yourself…fool.

For a guy, the phone number thing isn’t a big deal. The Earth will still turn, the stars will still shine, country music will still suck… but still, chicks perceive this proposal as kind of a big deal.

That’s because phone number exchange represents a significant turning point in the online interaction.

You are both shifting from no investment, to at least some hopes and expectations. You want to minimize those expectations. Strive to keep it as casual, and “pressure free” as possible. The best way to achieve this is to joke about how “super serious” things are getting, and how you’ll never possibly agree on which backup dancers to hire for the big wedding day.

Still, there will be a long, drawn out moment of reckoning before she gives you, what is known in her mind as, “the high holy coveted digits of eternal trust”.

“What are his real intentions?…What if he’s a creep/weirdo?…what does it mean if I give him my number?…”, and most importantly, “Is this guy safe?”

This is why you addressed those concerns before going for the number close. If you don’t know how, fret not, for I will be covering all bases leading up to that big slide into home plate. Hell, you’re gonna stroll your way in there by the time I’m done.

You’ve got Bladelaw on your team

About half the time you ask a girl for her number at the end of a fun IM conversation, she’s gonna give you the “pause”. Her brain is contemplating if she should give you her number or not. This is a big step for most women. It represents an acceptance of your advances. It’s her admitting, “I’m interested, and want to know more”.

Problem is, about half of the time (after the pause of death), she’s gonna hit you with the old, “why don’t you email me first”. Now some guys just say, “cool”, take down her email, and skip off as if they’ve sealed a deal. NOT SO.

Here are the reasons why you do NOT want to agree to this silly little game of “e-mail tag”:

1. It puts her back in control. You’ve invested all this time and energy into getting her attention online, making her laugh, spiking attraction, building rapport, etc. Now after all this navigation, you’re gonna give her back the steering wheel? No way!!

2. It gives her time to forget about you. This isn’t intentional on her part. In fact, the most likely reason she’s slowing things down is because she just wants time to get to know you better, and make sure her initial attraction wasn’t just a fleeting moment of weakness. (which is a good quality in a trustworthy women!). The unfortunate reality is that during this time, her memory of the fun conversation she had with you will fade. If you think it’s challenging to make a lasting impression in person, it goes double for online dating.

3. E-mail is for dorks. You’re not a dork are you? When it comes to ways to build attraction, e-mail is bottom of the barrel. Yes, we all use it for work, school, and our day to day. We use it for online dating because we HAVE to. However, that doesn’t shake the dorky, impersonal stigma it carries. E-mail isn’t sexy.

So, let’s assume you’ve opted-out of the emails back and forth. After a fun conversation, this can be said as plainly as, “I’m not interested in e-mails”. This leaves you and your play for her number in limbo, for the time being.

I try not to have too many hard and fast “rules”, but from this point forward, you’ve set the wheels of intention in motion. A step backwards into email should clearly be made “unacceptable”. (but don’t use that word, it’s hardly ever good to say aloud). You will stand firm, and expectant, until she offers up her compromise. If you have good attraction going, I promise she will offer her compromise.

There will likely be a long pause in the conversation once you let her know that you “don’t do email”. It feels awkward for her. This is why girls give fake numbers to guys in real life, to avoid awkward moments like these. However this is a different kind of moment, because she IS interested. You’ve laid out the next step clearly by asking for her number with confidence and authority. The firmness in your tone now, and pause in your fun energy is telling her that the only thing stopping this love train from moving forward is her own indecision, uncertainty, and social programming going on in her head.

She may try to convince you that email is good…don’t fall for it. You can ease up a little now though, because she’s working for you. You can reward her, “I’d love to get to know you, but I’m not into email hon”.

It’s worth mentioning that she might have a REALLY good excuse as to why she can’t chat yet (none come to mind), but if it sounds legit, by all means be accommodating.

At this point, you’ve done a commendable job standing firm about the next step, and demonstrating that you know how to lead her without begging, “please?”, or being a domineering asshole, “I says give me your phone number, wench!”.

So congratulations thus far. Next, she will steer the interaction 1 of 4 possible ways:

1. Final exam. This last test of hers is graded as pass/fail only. Trust me, she wants you to pass. It will likely be a question along the lines of, “you’re not gonna stalk me, are you?”. The correct response is, “you wish”. (points also for “if you’re good”, or “only in your dreams”)

2. A compromise. (which you will think about, then accept). Her compromise will either consist of an, “If I can…, will you…” question, or a, “just email me first, then I’ll send you my number”, kind of thing. All acceptable things as long as she’s trying to accommodate YOU, and recognizes the ball as being in her court.

3. She tells you to give her YOUR number instead. This is 3rd worst of the 4 outcomes because you are trusting her with control of the wheel, and she might not follow through. Granted, these girls always call me because I’ve generated massive attraction. However, I always make sure they call me right then and there, or it’s no deal. Once I see that “unlisted” on my caller ID, I know I’m golden

4. She regress into permanent limbo/paralysis by not saying another word, (until she signs off). Best to just let these girls go. A girl who can’t take the hand of a confident leader is a sign of deeper trust issues. Last minute resistance would have been the least of your worries. You’re asking for drama, and it just isn’t worth it, no matter how hot the girl is.

So there you have it. You’ve asked for her number, overcome her objections, and gotten the glory.

Coming soon: “I got her number…now what??”