The first step to creating a massively successful and attractive online dating profile is taking stock of who you are, what you’re all about, and deciding upon a general “archetype” that daters will quickly identify with, and respond favorably to.

For guys, the best archetype is “Funny, Nice Guy”. Other good ones include, “Confident Ladies Man”, “Mr. Successful”, “Brooding Artist”, “Alpha Dog”, “Refined Sophisticate”, “Rebellious Badass”, and “Intellectual Genius”. (Ladies, guys always go gaga for the “Sweet Girl Next Door”.)

The archetype you’re going for should be supported by pictures, reflecting the associated qualities of your archetype. For example, the “Funny, Nice Guy” archetype calls for a picture communicating his sense of humor (80’s rocker on Halloween), and a friendly, warm smile (ideally while holding a puppy).

These Archetypes can be modified and combined, so play around with them, and choose one that works best for you! See my next post to learn all about pictures.

If you’re naturally photogenic and gorgeous, you don’t need to worry about this section. However, for those of us less than a perfect 10 in the looks department, we will be putting some more thought and effort into our profile pictures.

Make no mistake; your pictures are much more important than the actual content of your profile. Just accept this fact of life for what it is…I’m about to tell you how to make it work in your favor:

Step #1 - Photo Preparation

Assemble your collection of recent photos and place them all into 1 single folder on your computer. If any particularly good ones are with attractive members of the opposite sex, Photoshop them out, as it makes you appear unapproachable/unattainable for people viewing your profile.

Crop the images so the focus is on you. It’s ok to leave trace hints of the fun & friends around you, but make it absolutely clear as to which person the profile belongs to. There is nothing more frustrating than seeing a picture of 2 girls, 1 cute and 1 fugly, and not knowing which one you’re writing to, (profile tip: when in doubt, it’s usually the uglier one). Once you have your sample pool of personal photos cropped, re-sized, and ready to go, the next step is deciding which ones to use for your dating profile.

Step #2 – Photo Selection

Most people just use whichever photos they deem themselves to be best…this why most people are not successful with online dating. Because pics are the most important aspect of your profile, it’s worth applying some metrics for selecting your very best photos.

Hotornot.com provides unbiased, immediate, and quantitative feedback on which pictures are your very best. Simply create a quick profile, upload a picture, and log in the following day to view the consensus. I guarantee you’ll be surprised as to which of your pics rank well, which are just average, and which rank poorly. Do it for as many days as you have pictures.

Because Hotornot ranks on a scale from 1-10, it’s easy to see how good one picture is relative to another. If you’re skeptical about the rating you got, you can always take it down and re-run it just to be sure you got an accurate rating, (although I have personally found the ratings very consistent). If you can’t get at least an 8.0+ on a few, you need to take new pictures.

Of the photos that fetch good number ratings, choose 1 or 2 that support your general archetype. Then, supplement these shots with photos that showcase different facets of your lifestyle, to form a complete identity.

For example, I am really into music, so I have a pic wearing headphones while playing guitar in my recording studio. If you’re all about sports, have a picture playing ball, or at least attending a ball game.

Another rule of thumb is to always include at least one shot dressed UP (suit or dress). It’s an easy way to add a touch of class.

Remember, your online persona is communicated through your pictures first, and supported by the content of your profile second. Spend the extra time getting your pictures right… it’s an investment worth making.

So when is the best time to call a girl you met online?

If you got her phone number over instant messenger, the best time to call is right then and there. This is because she’s still emotionally engaged in the interaction with you. By calling her immediately, she will associate the good vibes of the IM conversation to your voice. Also, the next time you call, you won’t need to remind her who you are.

If she emailed you her number, I recommend calling between 5:30pm and 6:30pm the next day. Don’t make first contact on weekends, as most people are hanging out with friends and family. If she doesn’t answer, leave a short & sweet voice message. If she doesn’t call back immediately, follow up again in 3-5 days.

The most important part of phone seduction is a funny intro. Don’t call her for the first time until you’re in a GREAT mood. Women are very adaptable, and your opening statements are going to set the tone for the rest of the conversation; so get on the good foot!

My personal favorite is, “Is this (adjective) girl?…”This is Bladelaw, your new secret lover from (dating site)”…”I’m calling to rescue you from those internet weirdos”

Creative, cocky & funny material like this will get her giggling. If she’s not laughing for whatever reason (perhaps at work, has company over, or has a slow sense of humor), don’t sweat it. Just keep saying cocky & funny stuff, and eventually she’ll crack.

Initially, you just want to establish that you are the prize, and the 2 of you are gonna have fun. Once the flirty tone is set, run with it! Building attraction on the phone is easy when you do it from the start. Once she’s interested, and attracted to your personality, she’ll naturally steer the conversation into, “interview mode”.

Don’t hold back from talking all about yourself, but don’t be too serious yet. Keep it as light and flirty as possible. What you do for a living matters less than how you make her feel about it. To make someone feel something, you must express feelings yourself. Let’s say you’re a janitor;

“Being a janitor at my school is like Temptation Island. I’m there to do my job, and do it well, but it’s tough when these bored teachers get carried away with their fantasies. I understand they work with kids all day, but come on…they just stare at me like I’m some piece of meat!”

Get to know each other a little bit, but don’t be too specific with stuff…leave a little mystery for gods sake. If she’s prying for tons of intel about your life, dole it out slowly. You need to keep things interesting for when you get together.

If she’s the quiet type, just talk about yourself, your life, and how you FEEL about the people and events around you.

If she goes off on a long tangent about something dumb or boring, she’s probably just nervous, and feels the need to fill up any dead air. Interrupt with, “Hey, I’m gonna change the subject for a second”, and talk about whatever it is that you found more interesting, or want to know about.

After 10-25 minutes of laughing and getting to know each other, the energy level will eventually settle down, and you’ll both feel a subtle, awkward kind of sensation…this vibe is natures way of saying “time for the next step”. Once you’ve reached this point, invite her out.

Time permitting, I always invite them to come hang out right then and there. Again, this is because you’re both already in a good state, and you can anchor that fun phone conversation to an in-person interaction. It also shows her that you’re interested, without verbalizing it, which would be a misstep at this stage. After all, you are still considering her, she hasn’t won you over just yet.

Ask her, “Are you the adventurous type?” Then, “How spontaneous are you?” It doesn’t matter the answers, they are just to set up your invitation. “Very cool! Well in that case, you are officially invited to (activity) with me at (date, place + time)”. Make sure you know the details of your invitation before you make it.

The activity can be anything from hang out on the beach, go for a stroll through a cool part of town, or just grab a drink somewhere. It doesn’t matter. You are presenting her with a once in a lifetime opportunity to hang out with a cool guy such as yourself. In asking her out this way, you demonstrate your ability to make decisions, and lead her confidently.

Notice, you do not “ask” her for a “date”. You “invite” her to “hang out”.

Asking a girl out is old fashioned courtship. In doing so, you place her in the drivers seat, giving away your position of choice. Keep the crown of power for yourself, and “extend an invitation” for her to come join you. It is the most classy, non-needy way to get a date.

As for the word “date”, aside from its romantic connotations, carries more pressure and expecations than it is worth. Don’t use it. “Hanging out” on the other hand is a casual, friendly activity, and pressure free. You just want to get her in-person…from there you’re free to romance her any way you like.

If you’ve done everything right thus far, she’ll be so excited that she’ll accept on the spot, and rush off to change her clothes. If timing is an issue, she’ll make a counter offer…usually for the next day.

Ask her what she’s planning on wearing, and she’ll request a cue from you. It doesn’t matter “what” you tell her to wear; “Wear something cute”, or “Wear something casual”. As long as you’re telling her, she’ll love you for it.

The next step is meeting up in-person! There are plenty of other resources for that part of the game…as for me, my guide to getting you a date online has come to an end. You’re on your own from here!

Be your best, and may the force be with you

Paid sites offer higher quality daters than free sites. Paid daters are also more serious about meeting someone offline than people on social networking. What’s frustrating about paid sites, is most people who put up their profile never actually pay for a membership. Non-paying members can’t respond to, or even see your Email.

Free dating sites and personals hold the advantage of having the largest sheer volume of potential daters. The drawback to this of course is that with lots of people, comes mostly undesirables…low quality people you don’t want to go out with.

Social networking is the most multi-faceted of the 3 avenues. These sites make it easy to screen for quality. Their customizable pages provide a more in-depth snapshot into a person’s attitudes, personality, lifestyle, and social circle than the uniform format traditional dating sites have.

For better and for worse, social networking is also a casual environment. It doesn’t have the expectations of finding love online that a true dating site carries. This is helpful for when you’re making initial contacts. The downside, is that most girls in this environment have no intention of ever meeting someone they don’t already know offline. Laides, you already know that guys hold no such reservations, so these sites are a bit better for you.

Each site carries unique advantages and disadvantages. See the table of contents on the left for pros and cons of the relevant, best online dating sites.

With 63% of costs going to paid advertising, it’s no wonder we’re bombarded with ads for the latest and greatest matchmaking service, promising love, sex, and beautiful people. Adding to the noise level, there are currently over 1000 different online dating services to choose from. Finding the best sites is a daunting task.

The major players are constantly running special promotions, changing ownerships, and going in and out of business. Because of the volitile nature of the online daitng industry, I’m not going to cover membership specifics here. Rather, I’m going to give you a brief rundown of what you really need to know about the best paid dating sites.

1. Billing themselves as the premiere destination to find and marry your long lost soulmate, Eharmony is in the business of selling you a dream, and failing miserably at delivering on those expectations.

But hey, don’t take my word for it…just look at the statistics: Over 6.5 million paid subscribers. Estimated number of marriages so far? 10,000. Now I’m no math wiz, but according to Eharmony’s own data, 1 in 650, or 0.15% of subscribers actually receive the benefits that this site is selling.

I used to think music was the poorest performing industry with just 1 out of 10 signed artists turning a profit for a record label, but Eharmony’s track record is worse!

Wow. With a product performing as poorly as this, Eharmony should bring in one of those Phd experts for credibility. You know, one of those old guys who’s published like 9 books on the same subject. Oh, silly me…Eharmony already has one!

2. Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the sites founder, and “relationship expert guy” you see in all the commercials), clearly smokes crack , as evidenced by this quote:

“the reason we have encouraged people to wait a little while to exchange pictures, is so they won’t make such a strong early judgment about a person based exclusively on external factors.”

Wow, that’s brilliant Dr. Warren! I mean, if you want a dating service filled with unattractive, insecure people, your model is PERFECT!

Of the rebellious vixens who go against Dr. Warrens wishes and actually DO upload pictures, the site is discouraging enough that over half the women on it never display them. So what if attraction is based on looks? You dare question the good Dr.’s judgement?

This “feature” CRIPPLES any ability to know who you might even be interested in…ah, but fret not, Eharmony has a built in matchmaking system!

3. The matching system SUCKS.

a. You have no control over who you meet. Eharmony uses their own proprietary compatibility tests for that. If you think you prefer blondes, or older men, sorry kiddo. Apparently Eharmony knows better than you do about what you’re looking for.

b. The automated introduction process is completely impersonal. It consists of multiple question and answer sessions that tell you nothing about a person (“your idea of a perfect vacation is…”), over and over again.

c. By the time you’re done with this grueling interview style questioning (which can take days, weeks, or even months), the eharmony system finally allows you to “Email” each other…could anything be less sexy and spontaneous? You can meet someone on the street, get married, have a baby, and get divorced in the same amount of time it takes you to meet 1 person on Eharmony.

4. The profile format discourages any uniqueness or creativity. The stock questions are obvious. Aside from the pictures (which usually aren’t visible), every profile looks the same!

5. Because Eharmony markets itself by playing on customers marriage fantasies, it attracts a shitty subscriber base. There are more lonely, needy, depressing people on eharmony than any other paid dating site.

6. It’s expensive. How expensive is it? It’s more expensive than the next most expensive mainstream dating service out there. The fact that it’s also one of the worst makes for a bitter pill to swallow.

As if finding a date wasn’t challenging enough for most people, Eharmony has the balls to sell you a soulmate. As a result, the experience is anything but fun and casual. From the questioning, to the safety policies, the whole experience is deadly serious. I’ve never had less fun on an online dating site.

Don’t be fooled by the glowing reviews. Eharmony has a massive affiliate program, and with thousands of websites sending traffic their way, it’s all about the $$$$.

Bottom line? Far beyond a mere sorry excuse of a dating service…Eharmony is a waste of life.

But don’t let the fact that Myspace is cousins with Fox News scare you off…this joint is anything but conservative. As an average sample of our dating age population, there are more freaks, geeks, goths, preps, emos, and regular people on Myspace than any other place on the net.

What’s great? Customizable pages make it easy to screen for quality people. Myspace can provide a more in-depth snapshot into a person’s attitudes, personality, lifestyle, and social circle than the uniform format traditional dating sites have.

By the same token, a Myspace page allows you to express your own unique persona as well, and standing out from the crowd is one of the keys to success with online dating .

What sucks? For some girls, myspace becomes a safe haven for collecting hundreds of doting male “friends”…without the issues she would face IRL with such an arrangement.

We call these girls “attention whores” (for lack of a better term), and her flock of male hopefuls “orbiters”. For the love of god, don’t be an orbiter. Myspace is chock full of these types of guys and girls. Do yourself a favor, and avoid them both at all costs.

With paid dating site subscription numbers on the decline, and the number of new Myspace pages soaring, there is no question that social networking is the future of online dating.

Bottom line? Despite a reputation for tackiness, Myspace is not to be overlooked or ignored when it comes to online dating methods. A great profile on Myspace is primarily a tool for building trust, and showcasing your life.

If you aren’t supplementing your paid site efforts with Myspace or Facebook, you will miss out on opportunities. For now though, social networking is still too inconsistent a resource to rely on by itself for meeting quality people offline.

I love Craigslist. I use it for finding furniture, and I use it for meeting hot chicks. Why do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

It’s free (we like free). It’s fast (you can expect responses to your personals ad just minutes after posting it). But most of all…it works.

The sheer VOLUME of people who browse the Craigslist personal ads virtually guarantees responses. Granted, you won’t be interested in the vast majority, but it’s easy to be picky.

There are more smart people on Craigslist than beautiful ones. If intelligence, witty banter, and sarcasm is your cup’o’tea, this is your site. It’s full of people who are into it.

Also, this is a site where the guys can actually compete with girls for number of responses. Sure, a hot girl will still get hundreds of responses from her pic, but as a guy, I can get a good 15-20 from a single Craigslist post without breaking a sweat.

It’s also freely renewable. Every 4 or 5 days you can re-post your personal ad, and get responses from a new batch of prospective dates.

Unfortunately, there is no instant messaging or profiles here. The only weapons of seduction at your disposal are your pictures, and your writing skills. Both must be keenly honed to get success in this area.

As with all online dating sites, there are plenty of low quality people lurking around Craigslist. After reading the ad’s for a few pages, the sleeze factor definitely sets in. Horny men and shallow women abound, drawn like moths to the pretty Craigslist flame.

Don’t get caught up in the negative energy, and you’ll be fine. Put yourself out there with a positive message, and you’ll get back that kind of energy.

Bottom line? It’s the best free resource for online dating…highly recommended.

A simple, “what’s your number?” will do. If you’re dealing with a particularly feisty one, “give me your number” is better. It’s your job to understand what kind of personality the chick you’re dealing with has. You need to praise her like you should when she’s acting right, and “check” her good when she isn’t. Otherwise, you riggity “wreck” yourself…fool.

For a guy, the phone number thing isn’t a big deal. The Earth will still turn, the stars will still shine, country music will still suck… but still, chicks perceive this proposal as kind of a big deal.

That’s because phone number exchange represents a significant turning point in the online interaction.

You are both shifting from no investment, to at least some hopes and expectations. You want to minimize those expectations. Strive to keep it as casual, and “pressure free” as possible. The best way to achieve this is to joke about how “super serious” things are getting, and how you’ll never possibly agree on which backup dancers to hire for the big wedding day.

Still, there will be a long, drawn out moment of reckoning before she gives you, what is known in her mind as, “the high holy coveted digits of eternal trust”.

“What are his real intentions?…What if he’s a creep/weirdo?…what does it mean if I give him my number?…”, and most importantly, “Is this guy safe?”

This is why you addressed those concerns before going for the number close. If you don’t know how, fret not, for I will be covering all bases leading up to that big slide into home plate. Hell, you’re gonna stroll your way in there by the time I’m done.

You’ve got Bladelaw on your team