Online Dating Methods

At $550 million dollars in annual revenue, the lucrative nature of the online dating industry has spawned intense competition amongst players.

With 63% of costs going to paid advertising, it’s no wonder we’re bombarded with ads for the latest and greatest matchmaking service, promising love, sex, and beautiful people. Adding to the noise level, there are currently over 1000 different online dating services to choose from. Finding the best sites is a daunting task.

The major players are constantly running special promotions, changing ownerships, and going in and out of business. Because of the volitile nature of the online daitng industry, I’m not going to cover membership specifics here. Rather, I’m going to give you a brief rundown of what you really need to know about the best paid dating sites.

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways…

1. Billing themselves as the premiere destination to find and marry your long lost soulmate, Eharmony is in the business of selling you a dream, and failing miserably at delivering on those expectations.

But hey, don’t take my word for it…just look at the statistics: Over 6.5 million paid subscribers. Estimated number of marriages so far? 10,000. Now I’m no math wiz, but according to Eharmony’s own data, 1 in 650, or 0.15% of subscribers actually receive the benefits that this site is selling.

I used to think music was the poorest performing industry with just 1 out of 10 signed artists turning a profit for a record label, but Eharmony’s track record is worse!

Wow. With a product performing as poorly as this, Eharmony should bring in one of those Phd experts for credibility. You know, one of those old guys who’s published like 9 books on the same subject. Oh, silly me…Eharmony already has one!

2. Dr. Neil Clark Warren (the sites founder, and “relationship expert guy” you see in all the commercials), clearly smokes crack , as evidenced by this quote:

“the reason we have encouraged people to wait a little while to exchange pictures, is so they won’t make such a strong early judgment about a person based exclusively on external factors.”

Wow, that’s brilliant Dr. Warren! I mean, if you want a dating service filled with unattractive, insecure people, your model is PERFECT!

Of the rebellious vixens who go against Dr. Warrens wishes and actually DO upload pictures, the site is discouraging enough that over half the women on it never display them. So what if attraction is based on looks? You dare question the good Dr.’s judgement?

This “feature” CRIPPLES any ability to know who you might even be interested in…ah, but fret not, Eharmony has a built in matchmaking system!

3. The matching system SUCKS.

a. You have no control over who you meet. Eharmony uses their own proprietary compatibility tests for that. If you think you prefer blondes, or older men, sorry kiddo. Apparently Eharmony knows better than you do about what you’re looking for.

b. The automated introduction process is completely impersonal. It consists of multiple question and answer sessions that tell you nothing about a person (“your idea of a perfect vacation is…”), over and over again.

c. By the time you’re done with this grueling interview style questioning (which can take days, weeks, or even months), the eharmony system finally allows you to “Email” each other…could anything be less sexy and spontaneous? You can meet someone on the street, get married, have a baby, and get divorced in the same amount of time it takes you to meet 1 person on Eharmony.

4. The profile format discourages any uniqueness or creativity. The stock questions are obvious. Aside from the pictures (which usually aren’t visible), every profile looks the same!

5. Because Eharmony markets itself by playing on customers marriage fantasies, it attracts a shitty subscriber base. There are more lonely, needy, depressing people on eharmony than any other paid dating site.

6. It’s expensive. How expensive is it? It’s more expensive than the next most expensive mainstream dating service out there. The fact that it’s also one of the worst makes for a bitter pill to swallow.

As if finding a date wasn’t challenging enough for most people, Eharmony has the balls to sell you a soulmate. As a result, the experience is anything but fun and casual. From the questioning, to the safety policies, the whole experience is deadly serious. I’ve never had less fun on an online dating site.

Don’t be fooled by the glowing reviews. Eharmony has a massive affiliate program, and with thousands of websites sending traffic their way, it’s all about the $$$$.

Bottom line? Far beyond a mere sorry excuse of a dating service…Eharmony is a waste of life.

Myspace.com is the most popular social networking site in the world. It began as a way for music fans to keep in touch with their favorite artists, and evolved into a $580 million dollar hedge for Rupert Murdock’s portfolio of businesses.

But don’t let the fact that Myspace is cousins with Fox News scare you off…this joint is anything but conservative. As an average sample of our dating age population, there are more freaks, geeks, goths, preps, emos, and regular people on Myspace than any other place on the net.

What’s great? Customizable pages make it easy to screen for quality people. Myspace can provide a more in-depth snapshot into a person’s attitudes, personality, lifestyle, and social circle than the uniform format traditional dating sites have.

By the same token, a Myspace page allows you to express your own unique persona as well, and standing out from the crowd is one of the keys to success with online dating .

What sucks? For some girls, myspace becomes a safe haven for collecting hundreds of doting male “friends”…without the issues she would face IRL with such an arrangement.

We call these girls “attention whores” (for lack of a better term), and her flock of male hopefuls “orbiters”. For the love of god, don’t be an orbiter. Myspace is chock full of these types of guys and girls. Do yourself a favor, and avoid them both at all costs.

With paid dating site subscription numbers on the decline, and the number of new Myspace pages soaring, there is no question that social networking is the future of online dating.

Bottom line? Despite a reputation for tackiness, Myspace is not to be overlooked or ignored when it comes to online dating methods. A great profile on Myspace is primarily a tool for building trust, and showcasing your life.

If you aren’t supplementing your paid site efforts with Myspace or Facebook, you will miss out on opportunities. For now though, social networking is still too inconsistent a resource to rely on by itself for meeting quality people offline.

Craigslist has gone from local San Francisco bulletin board, to full fledged rite of passage for young urban professionals. Originally started in 1997, Craigslist has expanded to every major city in the world. You can find anything, from apartments, jobs, merchandise, and of course, a date.

I love Craigslist. I use it for finding furniture, and I use it for meeting hot chicks. Why do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

It’s free (we like free). It’s fast (you can expect responses to your personals ad just minutes after posting it). But most of all…it works.

The sheer VOLUME of people who browse the Craigslist personal ads virtually guarantees responses. Granted, you won’t be interested in the vast majority, but it’s easy to be picky.

There are more smart people on Craigslist than beautiful ones. If intelligence, witty banter, and sarcasm is your cup’o’tea, this is your site. It’s full of people who are into it.

Also, this is a site where the guys can actually compete with girls for number of responses. Sure, a hot girl will still get hundreds of responses from her pic, but as a guy, I can get a good 15-20 from a single Craigslist post without breaking a sweat.

It’s also freely renewable. Every 4 or 5 days you can re-post your personal ad, and get responses from a new batch of prospective dates.

Unfortunately, there is no instant messaging or profiles here. The only weapons of seduction at your disposal are your pictures, and your writing skills. Both must be keenly honed to get success in this area.

As with all online dating sites, there are plenty of low quality people lurking around Craigslist. After reading the ad’s for a few pages, the sleeze factor definitely sets in. Horny men and shallow women abound, drawn like moths to the pretty Craigslist flame.

Don’t get caught up in the negative energy, and you’ll be fine. Put yourself out there with a positive message, and you’ll get back that kind of energy.

Bottom line? It’s the best free resource for online dating…highly recommended.

Getting a girls phone number online isn’t rocket science.

A simple, “what’s your number?” will do. If you’re dealing with a particularly feisty one, “give me your number” is better. It’s your job to understand what kind of personality the chick you’re dealing with has. You need to praise her like you should when she’s acting right, and “check” her good when she isn’t. Otherwise, you riggity “wreck” yourself…fool.

For a guy, the phone number thing isn’t a big deal. The Earth will still turn, the stars will still shine, country music will still suck… but still, chicks perceive this proposal as kind of a big deal.

That’s because phone number exchange represents a significant turning point in the online interaction.

You are both shifting from no investment, to at least some hopes and expectations. You want to minimize those expectations. Strive to keep it as casual, and “pressure free” as possible. The best way to achieve this is to joke about how “super serious” things are getting, and how you’ll never possibly agree on which backup dancers to hire for the big wedding day.

Still, there will be a long, drawn out moment of reckoning before she gives you, what is known in her mind as, “the high holy coveted digits of eternal trust”.

“What are his real intentions?…What if he’s a creep/weirdo?…what does it mean if I give him my number?…”, and most importantly, “Is this guy safe?”

This is why you addressed those concerns before going for the number close. If you don’t know how, fret not, for I will be covering all bases leading up to that big slide into home plate. Hell, you’re gonna stroll your way in there by the time I’m done.

You’ve got Bladelaw on your team